Here are a bunch of quotes I've collected over the years. It's in reverse alphabetical order (because that is cool, don't argue), maybe someday I'll put them in some sort of order of importance or categorize them, but for now I'm way too lazy.

| a b c d e f g h i j l m n o q r s t u w y |

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." -- Wayne Gretzky

"You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance." Ray Bradbury

You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. -Erica Jong, writer (1942- )

You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering. -Henri Frederic Amiel, philosopher and writer (1821-1881)

You can sometimes count every orange on a tree but never all the trees in a single orange. -A.K. Ramanujan, poet (1929-1993)

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of discussion. -Plato, philosopher (427-347 BCE)

Worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. -Dorothy Galyean Wise

While we are asleep in this world, we are awake in another one. -Salvador Dali

When you want to test the depths of a stream, don't use both feet. -Chinese Proverb

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. -Chinese proverb

When money speaks, the truth keeps silent. -Russian proverb

Well-timed silence is the most commanding expression. -Mark Helprin

"Well done is better than well said." -Benjamin Franklin

Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket, and do not pull it out and strike it merely to show you have one. If you are asked what o'clock it is, tell it, but do not proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman. -Lord Chesterfield

We would often be ashamed of our finest actions if the world understood all the motives which produced them. -Duc de La Rochefoucauld, writer (1613-1680)

We should every night call ourselves to an account: What infirmity have I mastered today? what passions opposed? what temptation resisted? what virtue acquired? Our vices will abate of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift. -Seneca (B.C. 3-65 A.D.)

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

Was there ever any domination that did not appear natural to those who possessed it? -John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. -Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)

"Why of course the people don't want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don't want war: neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." -Hermann Goering, Hitler's #2 man

Until it is kindled by a spirit as flamingly alive as the one which gave it birth a book is dead to us. Words divested of their magic are but dead hieroglyphs. -Henry Miller, novelist (1891-1980)

True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice. -Samuel Johnson, British lexicographer (1709-1784)

Traveling is a fool's paradise... I pack my trunk, embrace my friends, embark on the sea and at last wake up in Naples, and there besides me is the stern fact, the sad self, unrelenting, identical, that I fled from. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

To see a world in a grain of sand, / And a heaven in a wild flower, / Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, / And eternity in an hour. -William Blake, poet, engraver, and painter (1757-1827)

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. -Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust. -Henry David Thoreau, naturalist and author (1817-1862)

To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. -Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)

Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves. -George Gordon Noel Byron (1788-1824), [Lord Byron] English romantic poet

Those who failed to oppose me, who readily agreed with me, accepted all my views, and yielded easily to my opinions, were those who did me the most injury, and were my worst enemies, because, by surrendering to me so easily, they encouraged me to go too far... I was then too powerful for any man, except myself, to injure me. -Napoleon Bonaparte, emperor of France 1769-1821)

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.

This grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere: the dew is never all dried at once: a shower is forever falling, vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal sunset, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls. -John Muir, naturalist, explorer, and writer (1838-1914)

There is this difference between happiness and wisdom, that he that thinks himself the happiest man really is so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool. -Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832)

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. -- Bertrand Russell

There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed. -Buddha

"There is a very easy way to become a Buddhe: not doing any evil, having no attachment to birth and death, sympathizing deeply with all beings, respecting those above, sympathizing with those below, not feeling aversion or longing for anything, not thinking or worry -- this is called Buddha. Don't seek it anywhere else." -Dogen Kigen

"The true worth of a man is to be measuered by the objects he persues." -Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

"The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused."

"The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty." -Eugene McCarthy

There are two perfect men; one dead, and the other unborn. -Chinese proverb

There are some things so serious you have to laugh at them. -- Niels Henrik David Bohr

The willing contemplation of vice is vice. -Arabic proverb

The whole drift of my education goes to persuade me that the world of our present consciousness is only one out of many worlds of consciousness that exist. -William James

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. -Tennessee Williams, dramatist (1911-1983)

The unluckiest insolvent in the world is the man whose expenditure of speech is too great for his income of ideas. -Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957)

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. -Henry David Thoreau

The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements. -I Ching (B.C. 1150?)

The penalty that good men pay for not being interested in politics is to be governed by men worse than themselves. -Plato, philosopher (427-347 BCE)

The more we live by our intellect, the less we understand the meaning of life. -Leo Tolstoy, author (1828-1910)

The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. -Jean-Paul Sartre, French writer

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself. -Henry Miller, novelist (1891-1980)

The melancholy have the best sense of the comic, the opulent often the best sense of the rustic, the dissolute often the best sense of the moral, and the doubter often the best sense of the religious. The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, philosopher (1844-1900)

"The man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd." -James Cook-

The great rulers - the people do not notice their existence. The lesser ones they attach to and praise them. The still lesser ones - they fear them. The still lesser ones - they despise them. For where faith is lacking it cannot be met by faith. -Tao Te Ching

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavour upon the business known as gambling. -Abrose Bierce [The Devil's Dictionary]

The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization. -Sigmund Freud, neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939)

The fetters imposed on liberty at home have ever been forged out of the weapons provided for defence against real, pretended, or imaginary dangers from abroad. -James Madison, 4th US president (1751-1836)

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one. -George Bernard Shaw, writer, Nobel laureate (1856-1950)

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. -Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher (1803-1882)

Strange that creatures without backbones have the hardest shells. -Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

Speak the truth, then leave quickly. -Serbian Proverb

Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the idea is quite staggering. -Arthur C Clarke, science fiction writer (1917- )

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow spot into the sun. -Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

Reminds me of Rumsfeld []... "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

Referendum, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion. -Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) [The Devil's Dictionary, 1906]

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx-

Observe your enemies, for they first find out your faults. -Antisthenes

Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman, poet (1819-1892)

Not all those that wander are lost. -J.R.R. Tolkien

No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. -Niels Bohr, physicist

No race can prosper till it learns there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. -Booker T. Washington

No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does. -La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. -Heraclitus, philosopher (c. 540-470 BCE)

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -Abraham Lincoln

Napoleon's axiom: "If you start to take Vienna -- take Vienna."

My library / Was dukedom large enough. -William Shakespeare, poet and dramatist (1564-1616)

Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be. -Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts. -- Voltaire

Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist and author (1917-1986)

"Men have become the tools of their tools." -Henry David Thoreau

Men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato

"May your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you strike, fall like a thunderbolt." -- Sun Tzu

Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good. -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844-1900)

Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Diderot

Love your enemies because they bring out the best in you. -Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing. -Helen Adams Keller (1880-1968)

Life is a long lesson in humility. -James M. Barrie

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." -Soren Kierkegaard

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers." -- Voltaire

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. -Alfred Adler (1870-1937

In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place. -Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948)

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent; if you believe the military, nothing is safe. -Lord Salisbury, British prime minister(1830-1903)

If you are planning for one year, grow rice. If you are planning for 20 years, grow trees. If you are planning for centuries, grow men. -Chinese proverb

"If you don't understand that you work for your mislabeled subordinates, then you know nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny." -Dee Hock in Fast Company

"If it wasn't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college...if you think about that for more than three minutes blood will squirt out your nose"-Lewis Black

If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution inevitable. -John F. Kennedy, 35th US president (1917-1963)

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart? -Alexander Solzhenitsyn, novelist, Nobel laureate (1918- )

If I try to be like him, who will be like me? -Yiddish proverb

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. -Thomas Jefferson, 3rd US president

I think...I think it's in my basement. Let me go upstairs and check. -M.C. Escher (1898-1972)

I never would believe that Providence had sent a few men into the world, ready booted and spurred to ride, and millions ready saddled and bridled to be ridden. -Walt Whitman, American poet (1819-1892)

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. -W.C. Fields, comedian (1880-1946)

I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter. -Blaise Pascal (1623-1962)

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room. -Blaise Pascal, philosopher and mathematician (1623-1662)

I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs. -- Larry Lee

I am not one of those who believe that a great army is the means of maintaining peace, because if you build up a great profession those who form parts of it want to exercise their profession. -Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, Nobel laureate (1856-1924)

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. -J.D. Salinger

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." -- 'Vince Lombard'

"Is it partly cloudy over the lake? Or is it partly clear? I think it is partly starry."

"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -- Carl Sagan, Cosmos

"I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

"I never let schooling interfere with my education." -Mark Twain

"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing." -Socrates

History is fables agreed upon. -Voltaire (1694-1778)

He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own. -Confucius (c. 551-479? BC)

He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes. -Chinese Proverb

He who opens a school door, closes a prison. -Victor Hugo, poet, novelist, and dramatist (1802-1885)

Have more than thou showest, / Speak less than thou knowest. -William Shakespeare

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. -John Nichols, novelist (1940- )

Few men speak humbly of humility, chastely of chastity, skeptically of skepticism. -Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

Everything you've learned in school as `obvious' becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines. -R. Buckminster Fuller, engineer, designer, and architect (1895-1983)

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. -H.G. Wells

Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers. -Mignon McLaughlin, author

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. -Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. general and 34th president (1890-1969)

"Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing." -Bill Cosby-

Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts. -Pascal (1623-1662)

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. -Malcolm S. Forbes

Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. -B.F. Skinner

"Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up." Robert Frost

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. -Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. So aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something. -Henry David Thoreau

Conceal a flaw, and the world will imagine the worst. -Martial (Marcus Valerius Martialis)

Children enter school as question marks and leave as periods. -Neil Postman, professor and author (1931- )

Belief like any other moving body follows the path of least resistance. -Samuel Butler, poet (1612-1680)

Befriend a tiny African bird with whom you can develop a symbiotic relationship in which he picks fragments of food from your teeth

Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. -William Faulkner, novelist (1897-1962) [The Sound and the Fury, 1929]

"A woman president? What if she menstruates all over some important legislation?"

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's great civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith, from spiritual faith to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to complacency from complacency to apathy, from apathy to dependency, from dependency back to bondage."

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. -Josh Billings

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. -Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. President (1809-1865)

Along this tree / From root to crown / Ideas flow up / And vetoes down. -A senior executive, quoted by Peter Drucker

All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers... Each one owes infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in which he was born. -Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind. -Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) [Sand and Foam]

All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. -James Thurber, writer and cartoonist (1894-1961)

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. -Ambrose Bierce, writer (1842-1914)

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. -Fred Thompson, US senator, lawyer, writer, and actor

Absolute freedom mocks at justice. Absolute justice denies freedom. -Albert Camus, writer philosopher, Nobel laureate (1913-1960)

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small space. -Gloria Steinem, women's rights activist, editor (1934- )

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against its government. -Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)

A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep. -Saul Belloe

A critic is one who leaves no turn unstoned. -George Bernard Shaw

A + B + C = Success if, A = Hard Work, B = Hard Play, C = Keeping your mouth shut. -Albert Einstein